


Bad to Worse

by snowflakeimagines



Series: Meet Ugly Specials [4]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Bar Room Brawl, Drunk Papyrus (Undertale), Minor Violence, Multi, Reader's gender is not specified, Swapfell Papyrus (Undertale), Swapfell Sans (Undertale), gets a lil suggestive at the end so be warned klsdjkf, meet ugly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:00:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28108959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowflakeimagines/pseuds/snowflakeimagines
Summary: A fight breaks out in Muffet’s. You try to sneak out, but end up swinging your fist at someone you really shouldn’t have.
Relationships: Papyrus & Sans (Undertale), Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Series: Meet Ugly Specials [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057940
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	Bad to Worse

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous asked: Number 15 with sf sans just keeps coming back to my head. If reader was me, I would never let him forget it (unless it makes him upset)
> 
> (15. I step out of the bathroom and right into the middle of a bar fight and you punch me accidentally so I punch back on instinct)

You hadn’t been to Muffet’s enough times to count as a regular, but you’d been enough times for Muffet to have warmed up to you, and to have learned several crucial things: the most important of which was that pissing Muffet off was never, _ever_ a good idea. Luckily, that wasn’t hard to avoid. As long as you purchased something and were polite to her and her spiders, you’d stay on her good side.

That was why you were currently hiding out in the bathroom while a group of dog monsters tore into a drunk Papyrus (the regular you’d seen the most in Muffet’s) over a game of poker. If things got ugly and a fight broke out, you didn’t want to be associated with it. God knows what Muffet would do to you if you were. 

It’d been about ten minutes. You could still hear them arguing. Just when you were about to take a look outside, an authoritative voice cut through the clamor. “EXCUSE ME, IS THERE A REASON WHY YOU’RE YELLING AT MY BROTHER?”

“He—”

“JUST KIDDING. I DON’T CARE. LET’S GO, PAPYRUS.”

“You can’t just leave! Your brother has my money!”

“HE DOES CALL HIMSELF THE GOD OF GAMBLERS WHEN HE’S DRUNK, SO…”

“More like a mangy little thief! He stole it, Sans! I saw it with my own eyes! And my eyes are never mistaken!”

“He’s right!”

“What she said!”

“Yip yip!”

“FINE. HOW MUCH DID MY BROTHER STEAL?”

“100 G!”

“I MAY BE MORE MERCIFUL THESE DAYS, DOGGO, BUT IF YOU LIE TO ME AGAIN, I’LL COOK THOSE KEEN EYES OF YOURS INTO MY NEXT BATCH OF ENCHILADAS AND MAKE YOU EAT THEM.”

“Okay, okay! I-It was 47 G!”

“SERIOUSLY? THIS MUCH TROUBLE OVER 47 G?”

“Oh, just pay him already! I can’t listen to this shit anymore!”

“You’re one to talk, skank!”

“NO NO, SHE’S RIGHT. I’LL PAY YOU IF IT’LL MAKE YOU SHUT THE F— PAPYRUS, STOP— NO, YOU ARE _NOT_ HAVING ANOTHER DRINK.”

“Heheh… Yeah! Listen to your _lord,_ mutt!”

“SHUT YOUR TRAP, YOU FILTHY MONGREL!”

“That’s my husband you’re talking to!”

“NO SHIT, BITCH!”

“Can you guys not—”

“Stay out of this, birdbrain!”

“Birds, let Muffet take care of this when she gets back. There’s no point in trying to reason with people like them.”

“The hell’s that supposed to mean, huh?!”

“Shut up, all of you! I’m not drunk enough for this!”

“None of us are!”

“He is!”

“GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF MY BROTHER’S FACE!”

From that point on, everyone’s voices overlapped too much for you to really make out anything they were saying. Something shattered on the ground. Everything went silent. Then, all at once, the shouting came back at full volume, along with the sound of chairs being knocked over and tables screeching across the floor.

Crap. You held your breath as you cracked the door open and peeked outside. Yep, that was a shot glass flying across the room. You started assessing your options. There weren’t any windows in the bathroom you could escape from. You’d likely be hit by something or someone the moment you stepped out of the bathroom. Maybe you could stay in here and just wait it out?

Suddenly, the door flew open. Two monsters stumbled past you, kicking and clawing at each other. You slunk out of the bathroom before they could notice you were there and rope you into the fight. Before you could even think of a way to the front doors, a dog monster slammed into your back, sending you reeling forwards and right into someone else. The person you’d bumped into grunted. You started to apologize, but stopped short when you felt a strong punch hit you in the chest. Your reflexes kicked in and you swung your fist at your assailant in return. Your fist was caught firmly by a gloved hand. Two purple pinpricks of light bore into you. 

Sans.

You’d heard of him before. You’d heard Muffet asking Papyrus about him, you’d heard Papyrus talking about him, and you’d heard the other regulars mention him every now and then. Save for Muffet and Papyrus, the monsters mostly talked about how cold and ruthless Sans was in the underground, but even then, you hadn’t imagined your first meeting with him to be a fistfight; one that you were sure to lose, if what you’d heard was true.

Sans moved too fast for you to even register what was happening. In a matter of moments, he had you pinned inside the nearest booth. “YOU’RE GOING TO REGRET THAT,” he growled.

“woo!” Papyrus cheered from the other side of the booth. “get some, bro!” You glanced in his direction, but your eyes didn’t stay on him for long. The door to the kitchen was opening. Muffet was going to see this mess any second now; and if that didn’t piss her off, you didn’t know what would.

Sans followed your line of sight, visibly paling upon seeing Muffet. It seemed that he, too, knew what was about to happen next, because he swiftly threw you aside and grabbed his brother’s arm. “PAPYRUS,” he hissed, “GET US OUT OF HERE, _NOW!”_

“i thought you said ‘s not safe to drink and ‘poooort!” Papyrus said in a sing-song voice. He raised a finger to boop Sans’ nasal ridge. 

Sans swatted his hand away. “JUST DO IT!”

“nyeh heh! okie dokie!” Papyrus grabbed Sans’ hand. He glanced at you, then reached over and grabbed your hand too. Neither you or Sans had time to react. In the blink of an eye, the three of you were falling through the air and landing in a heap on the… concrete floor? 

You let go of Papyrus’ hand and scrambled to your feet. Whatever Papyrus had just done had saved you from Muffet’s wrath; the downside was that you had no idea where you were now. Sans did, though. He helped Papyrus up. “BROTHER, WHY DID YOU TAKE US TO ALPHYS’ HOUSE?” He narrowed his eyes at you. “AND WHY THE HELL DID YOU BRING THIS HUMAN WITH US?”

Papyrus blinked and tilted his head to the side innocently. “i mean… you were pinnin’ ‘em down and growlin’, and i assumed that…” Sans’ cheekbones flushed an irate purple. He sputtered something incoherent, to which Papyrus simply smiled and continued, “i figured that, y’know, if you’re gonna take ‘em home… i don’ wanna get in your way! i can… i’ll just crash at ‘dyne’s place for the night!”

“I WAS RESTRAINING THEM, PAPYRUS! I WASN’T THINKING OF _FUCKING_ THEM!”

“you — hic! — don’t have to pretend for my sake! i’m… i’m not a babybones!”

Sans threw his hands up. “THAT’S NOT— OH MY STARS…” Those purple pinpricks of light bore into you once more. “A LITTLE HELP?!” he spat. You gestured helplessly, too overwhelmed to do much else.

Papyrus looked between you and Sans. The orange glow covering his cheekbones abruptly spread over the rest of his face. “wait,” he stammered, twiddling his thumbs, “y-you’re not… you’re not thinking of inviting m-me to join, a-are you?”

“WHAT?!” Sans screeched.

“OI!” A yellow reptilian monster had stepped out of the house behind you. Behind her stood a blue fish-like monster, who waved happily at the skeletons. “We’re trying to watch anime in here!” the reptilian monster yelled, loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear. “Stop screaming about fucking each other!”

Sans yelled something back. Papyrus pulled his hood up over his glowing skull. You just stood there, slowly dying inside. 

Being strangled by all six of Muffet’s hands would’ve been a better fate than this.

**Author's Note:**

> this also got me thinking about the swaps for the snowdin npcs. i didnt write it in here, but i like the idea of swapping punk hamster and drunk bun to make drunk hamster and punk bun lmao
> 
> (Find me and my other works on [Tumblr!](https://snowflakeimagines.tumblr.com))


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